A guide for choosing what book to crack open depending on the time of year, which, of course, accounts for weather patterns, cultural occasions (such as holidays), and mood. Fair warning: you risk being transported to an alternate universe so frustratingly similar yet different from our own, like inside your least favorite Paul Thomas Anderson film, if you read any of these out of season. Beware.

Autumn: Pre-doom. The summer has worn you out. You get a tired, tingling sensation in your bones as if a cosmic reaction is at play between you and your couch. “Come hither,” it beckons. Perhaps numb and needing a reverse thaw, a de-sunning, you must shock your senses with a thriller as the chill winds begin their descent. Your windows are open to complement the chapter in which the murderer creeps inside. This excites you. There is no real terror, of course, because light still shines for many hours. Do not make these mistakes in the winter. You aren’t scared now. It’s the perfect season to read:

The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
The Guest List by Lucy Foley
And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

Winter: Okay, so you thought you’d be spared the seasonal D, the big emptiness, but no. That’s all right, maybe next year! Christmas has passed, and that promise you made to stay active is in the trash. Your dog doesn’t even care to venture out. It’s time for big, long, sad epics, or better yet, nonfiction, so you can turn that pretty little emotional valve off. You consider your ancestors heavily in this long patch of weeks. Were they bears? A sunny main character makes your eyes roll. Gloomy verses of pontificating Russians send you further into despair. Escape or sit, the cold will envelop you anyhow with these reads:

Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
Fearless and Free: A Memoir by Josephine Baker
The Postcard by Anne Berest

Spring: Awaken, my princess! The flowers are in bloom. You’re as pale as a ghost, let the lukewarm sun waft over you. Poetry is calling and she’d like to take you for a spin, give ya a new reflection in the pond. It’s the season of Venus and awe. You make the yearly realization that you are just a silly little plant responding to silly little stimuli. You smile, and promise to be big and bold. Sure, you’re a bit behind on everything. There’s always next year? Here are four books to add to your new-you list, but between all that’s alive, you’ll only have time for one:

Rosarita by Anita Desai
A Touch of Jen by Beth Morgan
Mrs. Caliban by Rachel Ingalls

Summer: Just when you get your mojo dojo back, the invisible heat permeates like smoke, and you can barely even read your phone because you didn’t bring the right sunnies to the concrete jungle pool. Your smoking (hot body) looks good two shades darker and you get a new blush at Sephora. Your skin is clear so you attempt that french, no-makeup look. The sweat reminds you of all your neglected humanness. It’s messy. The air your movement drives is a necessity to stay cool. Short and to the point books are best. Here are four that make a splash:

Creation Lake by Rachel Kushner
Summer Crossing by Truman Capote
Pew by Catherine Lacey

These twelve books serve as a mood map, a syllabus, for surviving and ever-evading the tail of despair that circles each calendar year. Read responsibly.