a spoken story

“I mean, she deserves, like—”

“All the happiness in the world.”

“Right, all the happiness in the world, because she was—”

“Ya, she was going through it a couple years back.”

“—exactly, I mean, hooked on heroin for what, two years?”

“Two years, ya, and then she came out to her conservative family post rehab, what a mess.”

“No, we were all feeling for her for sure.”

“Well, some of us, cuz those status updates…”

“Oh wait I forgot about that ya, those posts were cringe, but her heart is made of gold. She just found herself in all that shit in 2018 and also what was it with her and all those, like, men men?”

“Honestly, ok, and this is just a theory, but, like, could it be some kind of internalized homophobia? I don’t know, but that shit was wildly out of character I mean, right?”

“Right, cuz—”

“Like, I never saw her as someone who needs to be taken care of, so that whole thing was like, Twilight Zone.”

“Exactly, I mean fast forward to now and she’s with this femme and they have a tomato garden, c’mon, ya know, she’s living a completely different life.”

“Damn is that what rehab does? Maybe I should go LOL.”

“Carefullllll!”

“No but I’m just saying…I want my ideal partner and a functioning garden!”

“Ya but are you willing to go through hell to get it?”

“Well…no. But is that really necessary? It’s a garden with a person in it. Plus, plenty of women seem to flock to me for whatever reason, I shouldn’t have a problem. I’ll stay right here, ‘hello ladies!’”

“Charlie, we both know that anyone who is willing to put up with you right now is too f*cked up a person to…”

“Excuse me!”

“No, but I mean, anyone who can deal with your shit right now isn’t going to force you to change! And you need to change, I mean—”

“Ok, ouch, this took a turn I wasn’t expecting!”

“Noooo Charlie, no, come here, let me give you a hug! You’re wonderful!”

“Ya what does that say about you then, huh? Geez!”

“Haha, no, I just mean that you are stubborn and you need a very specific type of stubborn to balance you out, or else you’ll stay in this rut.”

“How did this conversation turn into a personal attack?”

“Ok whoa, I am…so sorry…I do not know where this is coming from, I—”

“Ya has this been on your mind recently? Like, it sounds like you’ve got it all figured out. How much have you thought about this?”

“…”

“Well?”

Pink Panther Accent, “Lovely weather we are having today!”

“Vera, stop.”

And she was right. The woman who found Charlie that season loved him with an unsettling devotion, suspending him. Twelve years passed and his belly, full of bitterness, churned the resentment with which his wife cooked for him each night. Vera did not want to be right, in fact, she blamed herself for seeing the truth before anyone else. Had she taken another breath she might have told him her vision of his future, it might have stuck in his mind, it might have changed the course of his life. But alas.

“Dinner ready in five.”

“Can you bring it to the den, love? Otherwise I can’t hear the game and it’s definitely going to overtime.”

“Sure, but I’m eating outside though. It never feels this cool in August. When the game is over maybe you join me?”

“I doubt it because you’ll probably be done by the time they blow the whistle. Plus, I kind of wanted to see that newscaster after the game, you know?”

“Oh, ya. She’s good!”

“She’s hot is what she is.”

“Right.”

“Oh c’mon, Phebes. I’m jokinggg. Anyways there will be other cool August nights. But you know what I’m really missing though?”

“Wha—”

“HOTTTT AUGUST NIGHTS AND THE MOON HANGING DOWN AND THE…”

She shut the door to the den. His voice, always booming, became a whisper, and then nothing at all.